The Glasgow Haskell Compiler is known for its feature-laden runtime system (RTS), which includes lightweight threads, asynchronous exceptions, and a slew of other features. Their combination is powerful enough that a programmer may complete the same task in many different ways – some more advisable than others.

We present a user-accessible actor framework hidden in plain sight within the RTS and demonstrate it on a classic example from the distributed systems literature. We then extend both the framework and example to the realm of dynamic types. Finally, we raise questions about how RTS features intersect and possibly subsume one another, and suggest that GHC can guide good practice by constraining the use of some features.